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Time to go home! (214.6) - Mark's Journal
mhaithaca
mhaithaca
Time to go home! (214.6)

I'm a little astonished how many parents still seem to be on campus with their kids as of Sunday evening.

There've always been a few still here on Sunday, at least during the Dump & Run sale, but I can't remember the last time there were more than a couple left by dinnertime.

There are a LOT of parents in the dining rooms with their kids for the indoor version of the Block Party. We made the decision to move it indoors a few weeks ago, because the drought conditions meant grills outside could be dangerous, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. It poured today, so we would have had to scramble to the backup indoor plan. As it is, we had plenty of time to prepare.

Other than the 12-year-old kid who's famously attending Cornell this year and had his parents move to town with him, I'm not sure it's helpful for parents to still be here two days after freshman move-in.

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Comments
cannedpopcorn From: cannedpopcorn Date: August 22nd, 2016 02:50 am (UTC) (Link)
I definitely rememeber that. My parents wanted to get breakfast with me the Sunday after they helped me move in on Saturday. I declined that morning, at the time just because we had already had a tearful goodbye Saturday night, but looking back, it was probably best for them to let me go anyway.
mhaithaca From: mhaithaca Date: August 22nd, 2016 05:07 pm (UTC) (Link)

I know my parents were in town for a couple of days, because it would've been too long a drive to leave town the same day (though no longer than for belmikey's parents, who canceled their hotel room and headed right out to leave him alone), but I didn't see them much after I moved in. Probably one more meal over the weekend in town, but not on campus.
From: Laura Riker Date: August 22nd, 2016 11:47 am (UTC) (Link)
College move-in is harder on parents than kids. There really should be people from the school, readily available to help with any umbilical cord cutting that has yet to be done.
I say this having just dropped off my oldest child to the dorms for the first time, and he was thrilled to get settled in and have some time away from the parentals. I imagine that most kids are feeling this way. Parents, cut that cord! Drive AWAY.
blaisepascal From: blaisepascal Date: August 22nd, 2016 05:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm picturing college staff walking around with machetes to cut the cord.
mhaithaca From: mhaithaca Date: August 22nd, 2016 05:03 pm (UTC) (Link)

Did C's school have people to help pry you away? Or did you figure it out on your own? :-)
acappellasinger From: acappellasinger Date: August 22nd, 2016 03:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
There's little to no excuse for parents still being on campus with their kids two days after move-in day. (I'm hedging for the kids who are truly special needs, or that academically precocious 12-year-old). I don't see any need for them to still be around once dinner on move-in day rolls around. After all, we do have other restaurants here. Some of them are even at least halfway decent.

Here's what a parent's schedule should look like on move-in day: drop them and their stuff off and make sure they (and their stuff) find their room, maybe go to one of the parent-focused orientation programs the school offers (optional), maybe help with one final shopping trip (but I wish you would let the kid do it for herself or himself), say goodbye, and leave. If your travel plans force you to still be in town longer, find someplace other than campus to occupy yourself. Let your kid start figuring out their new world without having to awkwardly adjust for you. Don't linger, don't unpack for them, don't stay to eat more meals with them, and, whatever you do, don't make their bed for them "one last time." Rip that bandage off. Cry all the way home if you're feeling it that strongly. Make their bed at home if you've got to scratch that itch. You're not doing yourself or them any favors by sticking around. Go away.

I agree with Laura that if the parents aren't departing on their own, and if the subtle prodding I was trained to do (and trained my RA staff to do) as a Residence Hall Director isn't getting through to them, the schools need someone (or several someones) around to take stronger, blunter measures.
mhaithaca From: mhaithaca Date: August 22nd, 2016 04:56 pm (UTC) (Link)

Yeah, I gather the "info fair" has been eliminated, and that was a big part of the process of prying parents away from kids, if only for a while... while the kids were registering and getting their IDs and such.
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